Thoughts
by AkatsukiWinItachiSasoriDeidara
Summary: Itachi's moments with Sasuke and what he was thinking. T for violence and blood.


**Author's Note-**

**Hello people of the Fanfiction world! This is my very first fanfiction! **

**I am very excited to get this posted on here and receive feedback from you guys! This is actually an idea I got while lying in bed one night when I couldn't sleep. It's pretty much a collection of moments from the anime and one from the manga between Itachi and Sasuke Uchiha. It shows how Itachi was feeling and what he was thinking while with his precious little brother. I'm so glad my first story on here is about those two! They are just made of pure win (though I prefer Itachi hence my pen name). **

_**~Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Wish I did, but I don't. If I did there would be some changes in my favor…hehe. ~**_

**So enough rambling! On to the story! **

A young boy about four years old sat on the porch steps of his house, holding an infant swaddled in cloth. His name was Itachi Uchiha. He gazed at the innocent face of his little brother Sasuke, wondering what he would be like when he was older. His small heart swelled at how cute the infant looked while sleeping.

Suddenly, Sasuke stirred in his sleep. He opened his eyes a bit, looking at his big brother. Without warning, he started crying. For such a small child, he had very powerful lungs.

Itachi, surprised at the outburst, tried to soothe the little guy. "There, there." He murmured, trying to comfort his little brother.

_What an awful feeling…_ Itachi thought to himself. _Why did mom and dad have to go out now?_

"Don't cry Sasuke," the young raven haired boy said softly to the wailing infant.

"Your big brother's here to protect you, no matter what happens."

With those words, Itachi decided he would indeed always look out for the innocent, small baby he was now cradling in his arms. He would love and protect him, no matter how tough or bad the situation was.

He loved him.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"I'm home!"

Itachi slid open the door to the Uchiha house and walked inside. He heard the pitter patter of little feet running along the wooden floor.

"Big Brother!"

A force known as Sasuke rammed into Itachi and squeezed him in a hug as tightly as his little body would allow. He looked up at Itachi with big, cheerful, onyx eyes.

"Play with me Big Brother!" he exclaimed. "Hey, hey! What should we play?"

"Sasuke!" called a woman's voice. In walked Mikoto Uchiha, Itachi's and Sasuke's mother. Both boys looked up at their mother.

"Itachi has homework to do. He can play with you after he's done." She ordered.

Sasuke's big eyes filled with disappointment. He looked down at his tiny feet with a frown.

Itachi smiled sympathetically at his brother. He had actually been looking forward to coming home and playing with the hyper youngest Uchiha. He was a breath of fresh air from all the seriousness he was usually around. He liked playing with Sasuke, and he didn't want to see him so depressed looking.

"It's okay, I can do my homework later," Itachi reassured his mother. He smiled. "It's easy anyway."

Mikoto sighed in defeat. "Fine." She allowed.

Sasuke grinned happily at his mother. He loved getting his way. Itachi continued to smile with him. _Yay, _he thought to himself with glee.

**XXXXX**

The two brothers sat with their father, Fugaku Uchiha, at the dinner table while their mother stood, still doing dishes. After a long day of playing, Itachi and Sasuke were famished and _so_ ready to eat. Before they could though, Sasuke spoke up.

"Hey, Dad?"

"Hmm?" answered Fugaku.

"Me and Big Brother were playing hide and seek today, but Itachi used Shadow Clone Jutsu to run away." Sasuke explained. "That's cheating isn't it?"

Fugaku looked up, suddenly interested in the conversation.

"Oh, so you can do Shadow Clone Jutsu already?" Fugaku asked his older son. Itachi did not answer. Must his father always have to turn the conversation into something ninja related?

Sasuke sighed, disappointed that his father was yet again ignoring him in favor of Itachi. He looked down at the table, frowning. Then, he got an idea.

"Big Brother, can you teach me the Shadow Clone Jutsu after dinner?" he asked, excitement gleaming in his eyes.

Mikoto, who had been listening to the boys' conversation, paused in her work and turned to look at Itachi.

"Homework!" she reminded him.

Itachi groaned internally. He didn't exactly feel like doing his homework. He would much rather continue to spend time with Sasuke. That was a whole lot more interesting than the academy homework he had to still complete.

Itachi turned to see Sasuke yet again looking down in disappointment. Itachi let a small smile go across his face. He leaned over the table to poke Sasuke in the forehead. The younger Uchiha looked up in surprise.

"Forgive me, Sasuke." Itachi apologized. "Next time, okay?"

**XXXXXXXX**

After a long day of training, Itachi and Sasuke finally arrived back at their house. They were sitting on the front porch and looking at the horizon. The sun was setting and it cast and orange glow over everything in reach. Itachi always liked sunsets. They added an extra color to everything and were nice to watch.

"Big Brother," said Sasuke out of the blue.

Itachi turned to look at his little brother.

"Why does Dad always pay attention to you and never me?" He asked.

Itachi had been waiting for this question to pop up sometime. He knew it always bothered Sasuke that their father always seemed too consumed with Itachi to even bother with his youngest child.

The older brother looked up at the tangerine sky thoughtfully.

"You probably hate me don't you?"

This earned a very surprised look from Sasuke. The spiky- haired boy then looked down with a defeated look. Itachi knew that was what the youngest Uchiha had been thinking; there was no doubt in his mind.

"That's okay. It's a known fact that shinobi go through life being hated."

The older raven- haired boy chuckled, mostly to himself.

"You know, being the best isn't all it's cracked up to be," Itachi started. "People start out by wanting to be you, but eventually you can grow arrogant and the people who first sought after you will turn against you."

Sasuke continued to stare at his older brother, intrigued.

"But we're different," Itachi continued. "You and I are flesh and blood."

He turned to his brother and gave him a warm smile.

"I'm always going to be there for you. Even if you do hate me."

Itachi hoped that he would always be there to protect Sasuke. If he couldn't be there, then who would?

**XXXXXXXX**

"Big Brother," Sasuke called from the hall.

Itachi looked up from preparing all his ninja gear to face his brother.

"Do you, um, think you could help me with my Shuriken Jutsu after school today?"

_Oh, how I wish I could Sasuke._

"I'm busy," the older Uchiha stated bluntly. "You should ask Father to help you."

Sasuke's brow knitted in an adorable pout.

_You're still so young Little Brother, so young…_

"But you're better at Shuriken Jutsu than Dad is. I mean, even I can see that."

Sasuke did have a point there. Itachi was more advanced than their father when it came right down to it. He then motioned for Sasuke to come over to him. Once the onyx eyed boy was close enough, Itachi poked him in the forehead.

"Forgive me, Sasuke. Next time, okay?"

Sasuke still continued to pout, but there was hint of a smirk on his face. Itachi still felt bad, though. He almost never got to spend time with his little brother, something he really did enjoy. Of course though, they wouldn't be spending _any_ time with each other from the night on. Cold fists clenched his heart at the remembrance of the horrible, unthinkable deed he was going to commit.

_It's for peace, _he reminded himself. _Would rather have a war break out?_

The answer was simple. Of course he didn't, but what he had to do to prevent it…well…

It wasn't going to be anyone's cup of tea, to put it lightly.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Itachi stood in the shadows of his parents' room, staring at the full moon that was glowing outside the window. An eerie silence lay like a thick blanket over the whole compound.

_This is it, I'm a criminal._

The images of his family members screaming, begging for mercy, and endless bloodshed was forever etched into his memory. He tried his best not to let any emotions come to the surface. It was harder than he first thought.

_Idiot, do you want Sasuke to find you breaking down?_

That single thought was enough for the ponytailed boy to snap out of his self pity.

Itachi then heard footsteps walking about the house. It could only be one person. The one person the oldest Uchiha was dreading to see most of all.

Sasuke slowly slid open the door. His onyx eyes took in his mother's and father's still figures on the floor, laying in a pool of their own crimson blood. A look of confusion and fear was plastered across the young boy's face. Itachi took this moment to come out of the shadows.

"B-big brother! What happened?" Sasuke cried. "Who could have done such a thing-"His questions were cut off by a kunai being thrown at his arm. After a moment of pure shock, Sasuke realized what had happened. He quickly took hold of his wound, a long gash which was known bleeding and in pain.

Itachi had to hold in a wince as he saw his brother looking at him with hurt in his eyes.

_Why did it have to come to this? Why me?_

"Foolish little brother," Itachi said coldly. He raised his now crimson eyes. "Mangekyou Sharingan!"

The night sky was turned an orange color, while the moon changed into a black orb. Sasuke's vision was flooded with those of Itachi killing off their clan, one by one. Sasuke was horrified, and his expression was enough to make Itachi's stone heart shatter.

"Stop it Big Brother!" Sasuke screamed. He shook his head violently, hoping to end the nightmarish visions he was seeing. "Why are you showing me all this?"

After a few more seconds of pure torture, Itachi ended the jutsu. He looked at his brother with a blank gaze, hoping it didn't portray his true feelings.

"Why?" Sasuke asked weakly. His voice shook from the horror he had been shown just seconds ago.

Itachi tried his best to avoid Sasuke's eyes. If he looked into those giant black orbs, he knew he would have a breakdown.

_Sasuke…if only I could tell you…_

"It was to test the limits of my capacity." Itachi recited. He had practiced this speech over and over, in hopes of making it more believable. A look of disgust flashed on the youngest Uchiha's face.

"To test…your capacity?" He questioned disbelief in his tone. "Just for that, you killed everyone?"

Itachi looked down to hide his shame.

"It was necessary." He responded.

Itachi then made a move to escape, only to be followed out by Sasuke. The spiky- haired boy tried to get some better answers out of his older brother. Itachi silently took in a breath. Time to resort to _that_ speech…

"Foolish little brother…if you wish to kill me, hate me, detest me…and survive in an unsightly way, run. Run and cling to life…" Itachi proceeded to recite his speech to his little brother, watching his expression, which seemed to be eternally horrified.

Sasuke, who seemed to be stuck in a state of shock, fainted. Itachi took this as a chance to escape but before he could move, Sasuke looked up. The fear had vanished from his eyes. What stood in its place was the glowing red of the Sharingan.

_He activated it already?_

Without a moment of hesitation, Itachi fled the scene. Sasuke jumped up from his sprawled out position and followed him at a speed his little legs had never moved before. He quickly snatched up some kunai that had been stuck in the ground and threw them at his big brother. Itachi, still deeply focused on escaping, attempted to block them. He succeeded with the first two, but fumbled as the last one hit him on the forehead, knocking off his Hidden Leaf headband. Sasuke, exhausted from his first activation of the Sharingan, collapsed pitifully. The oldest Uchiha stopped for a moment to pick up the fallen headband. He quickly tied it back onto his head, though it was a little crooked. He turned to get one last glance at his little brother. Seeing him lying on the ground, bruised, bleeding and just horribly beaten up…by _his_ hands…was too much for Itachi to handle.

For the first time in a very long while, Itachi let the tears flow freely.

**XXXXXXXX**

"Sasuke," Itachi acknowledged the young teenager behind him.

_I can't believe it's been so long…_

"Itachi…Uchiha," Sasuke growled in return.

Itachi heard the blond Jinchuuriki, Naruto he thought his name was, gasp.

"An Uchiha, eh?" Kisame spoke, apparently amused by the situation. He grinned, showing off his razor sharp teeth. "From what I've heard, the entire Uchiha clan was wiped out," He turned slightly to let his partner in crime to let him know he was talking to him. "By you."

Itachi wanted to slap Kisame for mentioning the massacre. It was bad enough thinking it, but hearing someone else say was…not fun.

"Itachi, who is this kid?" the large blue man asked.

"My younger brother," Itachi replied.

Sasuke glared harshly at Itachi, more harshly than any thirteen year old should have been capable of doing.

"I hope you're prepared to die!" he exclaimed fiercely.

Before anyone could speak, Sasuke started preparing his lethal jutsu.

"I've done just as you've said. I've hated you, detested you. And just to kill you, I've survived!" The onyx eyed boy finished his jutsu, which turned out to be Chidori. The blue lightning crackled and hissed, waiting to be released on its victim.

Sasuke charged at Itachi, holding out the Chidori, hoping to hit his older brother and end his life. Before Sasuke could get close enough, Itachi grabbed his wrist, abruptly ending the lethal jutsu. The two brothers stared in to each other's eyes, Sharingan vs. Sharingan.

"You're being a bother." Itachi stated, emotionless.

With a single tightening of his hand, the older Uchiha snapped the younger's wrist. Sasuke screamed out in pain, and collapsed to his knees.

_I'm sorry Sasuke! I didn't mean it! _

The next few minutes were a bit of a blur for the raven- haired man. He grabbed roughly onto his brother's neck and pinned him to the wall. With just a raising of his eyes, Itachi had pulled him into his Tsukyomi, just like the last time they has been together. It was funny actually, in a sick way. Itachi couldn't remember exactly what he had done to his brother that day, only that he had once again mentally traumatized him. But when thinking back on that horrible, horrible night, he could remember every horrifying detail.

The next thing Itachi knew, he and Kisame were fleeing the scene, leaving Sasuke passed out and hurt. Once again... by Itachi's hands.

_When will this end?_

_**XXXXXXXXXXX**_

There stood the two Uchiha brothers, quite a distance apart, both literally and figuratively. The older of the two stood amidst his best jutsu, his trump card as he had put it, Susanoo.

"It's time to take those eyes," Itachi panted, with a fake smirk plastered on his face. "I'll be sure to take them slowly."

His lies were cut off by a round of hacking up blood and coughing. Sasuke looked at his brother, confusion going across his face.

_Sasuke…_

Itachi attempted to compose himself from the coughing fit. Scarlet blood dribbled down both sides of his mouth. His Sharingan was no longer activated. He knew he was reaching the end. A few more minutes and everything would be over.

_If only you knew…_

He finally stood up and slowly walked over to Sasuke, who was trembling in fear. His knees shook violently. He felt like he was a little kid again, helpless and alone.

"They're my eyes…mine…" Itachi said, practically gasping for air with each step he took.

_How much I've sacrificed…how much I look out for you…_

The injured man finally reached his little brother who was, quite frankly, freaking out.

_How much…_

Itachi muttered a few words under his breath, placing a final jutsu on his brother. He reached out two fingers, mimicking reaching out to take his eyes. To surprise of Sasuke though, Itachi did nothing as he fingers reached his face. No ripping out his eye. No violence of any kind. Instead, he got…a poke in the forehead. He looked up at his older brother, surprised. Itachi smiled weakly.

"Forgive me, Sasuke," he quietly said. "No next time."

_I love you. _

With those final words, the light in Itachi's eyes, which had burned so passionately with a desire to live all those years, died out.

With a rumble, it started to rain.

**And we're done! Gosh, I hope that wasn't too horrible… Constructive criticism is appreciated but please be nice I'm new at this! Also, please point out any grammar or spelling mistakes you can find. AND please correct me if I got a quote wrong I was pretty much going by memory here. Thank you for reading and please review, you will be rewarded with virtual cookies!**


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